the unsent letters

to the luckiest kid who lives with his father

hi,

how are you feeling today? i hope you’re doing fine. i know you must be tired, we are all tired. and that’s just how life works, you know that.
all i can say is that, against every single shit that has happened, let it be. there’s next to nothing you can do to stop things that already rot.
i was going to say many things to you but you don’t seem like wanting to talk lately. so i write it down here.

just in case you feel sad right now but you don’t want to talk about it, please know that:
you’re lucky because you can earn money and learn new knowledge at the same time.
you’re lucky because you have the job that saves you from boredom.
you’re lucky because your mother loves you. you’re just having difficulties to accept her endless love for you.
you’re lucky because your sister cares about you but you don’t easily let her do that to you.
you’re lucky because your friends look out for you though it’s not in the way that you like.
you’re lucky because i’m sure that your father silently craves for your attention. he has the love but unfortunately, he can’t show it to you, just yet.

i’m sorry for all the bad things.
i’m sorry for the divorce, the bully, the disappointment, the heartbreak.
i’m sorry that you have to feel pain.

but i’m also grateful.
because those bad things conspire us to meet each other.
i’m grateful that we met.

thank you for looking out for me.
thank you for being there listening to me, crying while ranting about my father.
thank you for asking if i’m okay.
thank you for not judging me, the way i feel.
thank you for the midnight calls.
thank you for holding my hand that night.

it’s okay. we’re okay.

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